Saving All My Blogs for You....
If you have been following my last couple of blogs..first of all..thank you and secondly...my most recent (below)..comes with a Government Health Warning and not for the squemish...(tell me about it..I have to live with her!!)

Out of hospital. Snout still sore but getting back to normal.

The last time I was in hospital, I was ten years of age. Funnily enough it was also for an op. on my nose. Adenoids I think. I do remember that I got some yummy jelly and ice-cream afterwards which was great.

Not so lucky this time. After arriving at 7.00am I discovered that there wasnt a bed for me. Now I realise the NHS are stretched to the limit and I am not unsympathetic to the cause. My family has certainly had a lot to thank dedicated staff for over the years. This is merely my experience and one which I am in no hurry to repeat.

Back to the action.....cue Holby City and go....anyway...

A couple of very important looking people did come to see me with charts..rattled through the same questions. I signed a form and they were off.

09.30 and I was frazzled. No brekkie...no sleep...made Ev a very grumpy girl (yes..I know..so unlike me!) 09.32 and I was finally ushered to a bed. Less than ten minutes later. Mr "Junior Scrubs" announced that I was being whisked away to theatre. Still clutching my night bag like "orphan Annie" I was prompty told to "strip off" behind the curtain. Now in normal circumstances and in the right company this may have been an appealing thought. However when you are the "newbie" in the Bay and the boarders are staring at you, there comes a time when you become a little self-conscious or in my case babble an inane amount of rubbish. One woman cried out to me "watch him..he'll be chatting you up before you get there..." Hmmmm...the words "chatting up" now where had I heard them before?...oh yes 1985 (those were the days!) Looking my best in Marks and Sparks top quality "breeks" complete with "goonie" tied up the back I made my way to "centre stage." I looked divine...yeah right!

Now why is it that when you wake up from an anaesthetic no-one tells you that you are likely to need a sick bowl and pronto? No-one also tells you that you are likely to be sick in front of a bay full of strangers and their visitors...yep..sheets...jammies the lot. The nurse said to me.."ahh bet youll be feelin' better after that". "No I bloody well dont..thank you very much." my inner petulant child replied!

I left my dignity at the door that day though I have to say that by the end of the evening I was not alone. One woman thought she might even come and keep me company and be"nautious pals" together. I dont know what she thought I was going to do. She sat there at the end of my bed poised....I did feel a bit sorry for her as she was an old lady and felt a bit lost however its bad enough being sick yourself but hearing it, or worst of all seeing it just a few feet away from you did nothing to improve those post operative blues.

To make matters worse, when my family came to visit me at night I was lucky enough to cop a constant nose bleed throughout. Everyone looking..or so I thought. I cried for the nurse who plonked an ice-bag on my snout and told me off for tipping my head back as I was making it worse. This I hasten to add had been going on for three hours and I was royaly fed up. My brother..to make matters worse thought he would audition for "Carry On..Nursing.." when he proceeded to tip a cup of orange juice down my throat. Yep..youve guessed it the jammies got the lot. He laughed a lot. I bled a lot. Felt like crying a lot. Happy..I was not!

Home now and things had settled down or so I thought until I discovered that one of my neighbours is putting their rubbish in my bin. I have spoken to the suspected party before..but to no avail. I have written a note to suspected party before...again to no avail. I dont mind people putting their old cack in my bin provided they have a good reason and they ask me. Im a civilised woman. I like to reason things out. Make love...not Bin Bags. I dont enjoy lugging other peoples rubbish along a long gravelled path once a week particulary when they are too lazy to empty their own. Thankfully my sense of smell has yet to return otherwise I would be running for the nearest clothes peg to stick a the end of my indelicate nose.

I have been reasonable....rational and polite about the whole thing. Now..its time to get tough...I have thought this through and have come up with a game plan. Hours of my convalesence have been dedicated to the fight for justice....goodwill and peace to all bag tags. All suggestions gratefully recieved and I promise not to put them in your bin afterwards...

Perhaps I should take my plight to the Press..they know how to "sniff" out a story...
"Neighbour causes stink in bin row..."
or
"Ive had a "snuff" says disgruntled nasal patient"
Thanks for reading and stay tuned for some "happy thoughts" from Evs World..and yes there really are some....Next Episode...
Roll VT....and goodnight or in my case..."good-dight"